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I was chatbanned once more today. In my opinion it was an overreaction from the mod. In fact i believe that the mod did not even know what i was referring to.

This was posted and I referred to that post with this. Then I wrote

That cocktail sounds like a raped white russian

it got deleted and me chatbanned immediately.

The mod was asked to rephrase the deleted content and so she did:

Reading this rephrase I think the mod does not know what a White Russian is (a cocktail), and is getting the wrong picture here.

Furthermore "kinky orgasm" is ok but the word rape is forbidden? Even if the context is spot on? Sexual cocktail that is nearly like a white russian cocktail and the connection to a sexual act (rape) is to much to handle?

I think this quick finger chatbans should stop already. This system is just garbage and it feels completely arbitrary.

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    Just to set the record straight - yes, I made those comments. No, I did not ban you. That was either flags or someone else. Please do not make assumptions.
    – Ash
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:11
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    Also, I know you were referring to the cocktail. I was present for both conversations. I am also aware that it is a name of a thing, it does not mean I have to like the word, and furthermore, I mentioned I do not like the word, but in that context it was well, unavoidable, and I did not blame you for it. In fact, I went out of my way to mention it was not your fault.
    – Ash
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:13
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    In my opinion, playful sexual innuendo is definitely more acceptable than rape jokes and comments. I don't know if that is helpful or not, just thought I'd put in my two cents. Furthermore, if you make controversial comments you have to just accept that someone might find it offense. Most of us have been chat banned once or twice for far less offense things than what you've just brought up here.
    – spugsley
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:14
  • Also, you only got banned once today?
    – Ash
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:20
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    As a sidenote, I'm going to point out that it was a whole half hour. You're kinda blowing this out of proportion, especially seeing as how this has happened multiple times for you. At some point, you have to ask yourself, what's the common factor in all of them? You. I'd suggest less trying to push your standards onto the Bridge, and more trying to adapt to the ones already in place. "It's your daily language" does not make it acceptable in any sense whatsoever.
    – Frank
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:43
  • I wrote a reply to the mods showing a list of other users using rape and not getting trouble. Furthermore i am sorry that i assumed that @AshleyNunn did flag/ban me. The system is not transparent for a normal user so i needed to assume it was you because of this line: "but hhonestly, I am tired of fighting this fight."
    – Wandang
    Mar 9 '14 at 13:53
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    @wandang for what it's worth, I saw that list. I showed up in there once. I'd urge you to revisit the instance where I used the word in question. Then you'll understand why, had I noticed it at the time, I'd've flagged approximately all of the other instances you linked, as well as your own use of it. As a thought experiment, perhaps consider how I might react to being called a Jew because I have recently reminisced about my Bar Mitzvah, vs. how I might react to being called a Jew because I just bragged about getting an excellent price on a new car.
    – LessPop_MoreFizz
    Mar 9 '14 at 23:37
  • You frequently "pride" yourself on the bans you receive. Not to mention that you should know better by now than to bring up borderline content. Is it really too much to ask to keep your content clean for a while? It's one thing to have one instance of that kind of stuff, getting flagged, and then stopping. It's another to bring up the issue of bans frequently, and falling into the same pattern of questionable content on a weekly basis. This is precisely the same issue with GnomeSlice getting flagged for stuff that other people would get away with - it's repetitive with no signs of learning.
    – user98085
    Mar 10 '14 at 0:39
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    @FEichinger AFAIK Gnome has stopped posting his bancausing stuff. So he did learn.
    – Arperum
    Mar 10 '14 at 9:47
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    @arp after a very long vacation, yes. It took quite some time though.
    – LessPop_MoreFizz
    Mar 10 '14 at 20:49
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    Rape is a heinous crime. It is not about sex or pleasure, its about having power & control over other people, so I find the flippant attitude that "[rape] is a sexual act" as something we can joke about, as if rape is on the same level as boob jokes/getting caught in the act/kinky stuff very offensive. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
    – Robotnik Mod
    Mar 10 '14 at 23:51
  • @LessPop_MoreFizz true, which is proof that the bans work as intended, even if it takes long to get to the point.
    – Arperum
    Mar 10 '14 at 23:59
  • Just don't use the term. Can't be that flipping hard. We are not dealing with a compulsion to watch porno here. Think before you write.
    – deutschZuid
    Mar 19 '14 at 2:45
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Whenever you make a comment that could be deemed offensive, you're running the risk of getting flagged and possibly chat banned. Just because you do not find something offensive, does not mean that someone else won't. Whenever you bring up something sexual in nature, offensive, political, religious, anything that might go against what another user finds acceptable or comfortable there's a chance you'll have to pay the consequences. For some people, the word 'rape' alone can be triggering regardless of the context it presents in. This is why you were chat banned.

This doesn't mean that chat-bans have gotten "out of hand". It merely means that our mods are doing their absolute best to keep our users comfortable and respected while in chat. I also find it incredibly disrespectful that you'd call these individuals out in meta simply for doing a task that is assigned to them.

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    Relevant as an addendum. I wrote it for the site, but it applies to chat just as much.
    – Frank
    Mar 9 '14 at 5:54
  • "For some people, the word 'rape' alone can be triggering regardless of the context it presents in. This is why you were chat banned." yeah i respect that and will no longer use the word rape. the problem is that other people are getting away with it easily and that is a double standard. In addtion " I also find it incredibly disrespectful that you'd call these individuals out in meta simply for doing a task that is assigned to them." If i try to criticize actions i should provide facts and sources. That's why i included the original links to the chat.
    – Wandang
    Mar 9 '14 at 13:50
  • @Wandang the problem I see is that it's a rape joke (not cool, but in this instance, not enough for me to flag it) that can very easily be taken out of context. While the use of "cocktail" should indicate that a White Russian is an alcoholic drink, some might not make that connection. On it's own, "raped white Russian" is pretty offensive.
    – MBraedley
    Mar 9 '14 at 21:29
  • @MBraedley it never was out of context. My sentence immediately before was "now i want to drink one of those cocktails" and after the deleted line "milk and kalhua are the same basis" "amaretto and baileys vs vodka". I would assume that people read at least the line before or after before banning... On it's own it would be indeed questionable
    – Wandang
    Mar 9 '14 at 21:47
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    @Wandang I'm not saying that you said it out of context, as there's plenty of context for what you meant. I'm saying that someone could take it out of context if they're just looking at your message. Add in that it's pretty tasteless, and I'm not surprised that someone flagged it.
    – MBraedley
    Mar 9 '14 at 23:33
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    @Wandang It doesn't matter at all what the context is. People have a right to flag something they find offensive. The other rape-related jokes may have been said around people who don't find that offensive enough to flag it. However, at the time you were in chat, there may have been a user present who found it in poor taste and they have the right to flag the thing that makes them uncomfortable. Again, context has absolutely nothing to do with it.
    – spugsley
    Mar 10 '14 at 2:52
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    @spugsley I strongly agree that usage of "rape" in this context is highly inappropriate. I disagree that "context has absolutely nothing to do with it" though, as many people in chat (and the network in general) have desired to have more contextual information regarding flags, and have found it inappropriate to ban users for messages that, within context, are generally acceptable. Given the number of times that the issue of people flagging without looking at context comes up (such as the anonymous flag "trolls" in chat), I think it's rather disingenuous to say that context never matters.
    – FAE
    Mar 10 '14 at 15:51
  • @FAE I disagree. If the user has a legimate reason to be upset about a particular word or phrase I don't feel like they need to be further upset by having to explain why that context is inappropriate. That's why there's a flagging system at all, so that people can say "Hey, this makes me upset for some reason" without having to go into detail as to why.
    – spugsley
    Mar 10 '14 at 20:35
  • @spugsley I'm not saying the person has to step out of anonymity. I'm saying that context is still important to consider, even in cases like this. Consider LessPop's above comment above, where he says that he's in a list of people who have used the word. I'm fairly sure you're familiar with his distaste for the inappropriate usage of the word and know he wouldn't use it the same way Wandang did. These are the cases where context matters. Blanketly stating otherwise is, IMO, shortsighted.
    – FAE
    Mar 10 '14 at 20:46
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    @FAE And I'm not saying that context never matters. I'm just saying that people have a right to flag anything that upsets them regardless of context. You may find something offensive while someone else doesn't so in terms of why something does or doesn't get flagged, I feel like context shouldn't necessarily matter. Maybe I'm not being clear enough :/ sorry
    – spugsley
    Mar 10 '14 at 20:49
  • @spugsley I'm completely agreeing with you that people can flag what they want if they find it offensive/upsetting and that they're not obligated to disclose a reason or to come forward. I'm not really sure where your stance is though on context, seeing as you said to Wandang above "It doesn't matter at all what the context is." but now you're saying that isn't what you're saying?
    – FAE
    Mar 10 '14 at 21:08
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    @FAE When I said that above, I meant that in this case, it's not a question of context. He's putting a lot of emphasis on this idea that what he said was fine given the context. I really don't think it matters because whatever he said upset someone; it doesn't matter if he feels the context was fine or not.
    – spugsley
    Mar 10 '14 at 22:13
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    @spugsley Ah, that's clearer then. It sounded like you were saying that context, in general, didn't matter in regards to chatbans, which is where I had been taking issue with your statement.
    – FAE
    Mar 10 '14 at 22:18

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