So I have been suspended from chat, and I can't see how to talk to the moderator other than asking here...

If I say something, that relates to both myself (as I've stated many times) and another user.... how is that in anyway not ok?

I feel the moderator may have taken my comment the wrong way, due to them looking for me to foul up when in fact I'm just trying to help the other user deal with something I too have dealt with.

  • Personally, I never saw anything wrong with your comment. If anything, it kinda made me giggle.
    – user114997
    Aug 28, 2015 at 18:09
  • ... haha thanks dude, that was kinda the point. I know a fair few people on the spectrum, we hang out on IRC and other places too - theres a lot of 'drama' but a lot of caring too. It was only when someone (Jason Scott of Internet Archive fame) pointed out to me so purposesfully that I was acting in such a way that lots of things suddenly made sense. Aug 28, 2015 at 18:17
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    I looked at the message, and without knowing any context it looks problematic to me. I likely would have removed it if I saw a flag on it. Posting a message that is potentially offensive without context can easily go wrong in chat. I think deletion of the message is certainly appropriate, I don't think suspension is necessary knowing the context, but if I didn't know the context I probably would have supported the short suspension. Aug 28, 2015 at 18:51

1 Answer 1


In addition to hanging around in the Stack Exchange Chat, I also use a completely different private chat client to hang out with a very different crowd. They, too, are gamers, we enjoy lots of things together. I always refer to them, though, as "the other side of the internet" (and over there I use that same term to refer to here). Because while in both cases I'm talking with people, they're very different sorts of people with very different sorts of upbringings.

It's a very different culture there. There, that place is a group of people of all ages, races, and every other distinguishing factor, who practically have their own nuances of language that they use amongst each other, but this is solely because they are amongst themselves. Because one of the most important things is that language is not something you bring to the table yourself, but it's something you share with your audience. Bringing a foreign dialect into a new region and expecting everyone to understand where you're coming from is, well, hopeless and likely to get you into harm's way. When each and any one of us steps out of that circle, we speak completely differently. And that's not faking or anything, it's simply embracing the very real aspect of how language works in communities.

Perhaps in your circles and other places, that terminology you used may be seen as okay. I can certainly see it, in some ways, as a linking factor between people of common backgrounds. But we're not automatically those places. Stack Exchange Chat is particularly different from most chat clients - while we have separate rooms for separate communities it is still one big, global, professional space. What works for a handful of people might not work for some other people - which is why we have a flag system in the first place.

Don't dwell on it. Don't assume that people are out to get you and are willing to twist things just to do away with you. If you understand already that this kind of communication works within certain circles, then you should understand that the corollary is that it does not work in other circles.

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    I just want to point out that you guys aren't the first people in the history of this site who "out" themselves as being "on the spectrum." :)
    – badp
    Aug 28, 2015 at 18:47
  • @badp lol only thing I can think is that someone thought it was something of a 'white power!' moment, it was nothing like that but meh. Aug 29, 2015 at 19:14
  • @GraceNote -- professional.... this is the arqade chat we are talking about :/ Aug 29, 2015 at 19:15
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    @djsmiley2k It's still part of the Stack Exchange Network chat system. It might be comparatively lax to some of the other rooms on the network (and comparatively strict to others, natch) but it's still held to the same professional standards.
    – Grace Note StaffMod
    Aug 31, 2015 at 13:21

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